Hey guys, welcome to my blog! This is where you will see my most recent work as well as what's going on in my life, crazy path down Mommy-hood, and what's going through my mind and in my heart. My goal is to share something REAL... true life whether it be through my pictures or just sharing with you my day to day thoughts (which by the way goes a million miles a minute and is always coming up with crazy, new, fun ideas). So kick back, take you time, grab some snacks (Swedish fish is my favorite), stay a while and feel free to come in and leave a comment. Thanks for stopping by!

Looking Back

I was going through my old blog and just reading some of my blogs and I came across this letter I wrote to my babies and I wanted to share it again with you all because as I read this letter I wrote I cant believe how right I was about things.

This post makes me smile in so many ways. It gives me a little bit of "pride" to know how well I know my little ones.

Sometimes when you had a HARD day like the one I had yesterday... you doubt yourself, you doubt yourself as a Mom and as a parent. You start to think crazy thoughts like "what was I thinking I cant and don't know how to do this! Who lied to me!!!". I will say... I haven't had a ROUGH day like that in a while and but BOY was I about to pull my hair out. And you know what... after I got Sophia FINALLY down for the night (which was WAY WAY past her normal bedtime) I stood by her crib just staring at her. I watched her sleep for a good 20 minutes, looking at her chubby cheeks mushed against her crib mattress, her hair looking all crazy since I had just washed it, the way her little lips curled at the tips to make it look like she was puckering up for a kiss, and her soft sweet skin that smelled delicious and somehow... that HORRIBLE day I had just washed away. I had the sweat, tears, exhaustion and the bags under my eyes to show for it but inside... I felt that warmth... that feeling that I had lost throughout the day... the feeling of "I LOVE this job".

To those of you how are Mommy's I don't need to say anymore cause you know exactly what I'm talking about.

To those of you who are expecting another baby soon and have fears of "what the heck am I going to do?" just know... that you WILL have nights/days like the one I described above but you will see that at the end of the day it WILL get better and YOU can do it!!! Don't EVER doubt your ability as a Mommy.

And to those of you who aren't Mommy's just yet.... you have no idea but the BEST is yet to come!!!!!

Here is the blog post
Dear babies,

As I sit here with my two little ones I'm overwhelmed with the love I feel for them you both. I heard so many stories about how when moms get pregnant again they aren't sure how they will love the new baby as much as they love their first born. I can honestly say I'm not going to have that problem... my babies are my life.

Baby Carlos... you're here laying with mommy drinking your leche looking at me with those big brown eyes and my heart just melts into pieces. I will never be able to describe to you the love and joy you have brought into my life and how proud I am of you and all your accomplishments. As much as they make sad because that means your growing up and becoming a big boy... mommy's heart just shines with pride. You are my main man... and you totally know how much you have me wrapped around your little finger. You made me a mommy and I could never thank you enough for it. I'm not sure what the future holds for us but I want you to always remember the promises I made to you while in you were in the NICU and it was just you and me. I promised to love you ALWAYS and FOREVER, to stand by your side even when I didn't agree with your decision, to listen to you when your trying to tell me something, to love you unconditionally even when you think I'm the worst mommy in the world, to give you hugs when your in need of them, to watch you get hurt but fall in love again, to stick close by when you have failed, to watch you while you sleep so the monster cant get you, and to be the best mom I can be. You are such a happy baby and I cant get enough of your open mouth wet kisses and the sweet sound of your laughter. You have such a big heart and love your mommy so much. I hope that as you get older you will still come to me at random times to give me a big hug and kiss. You have such a beautiful soul and mommy feels blessed and honored to be your mommy.

Baby Terrero... since mommy doesn't know yet if you are a girl or a boy yet we'll just call you that for now. You my child are my surprise blessing. You have your own plans... and I'm so glad you decided that I was worthy enough to be your mommy. Mommy was very scared in the beginning but once I saw you on the u/s I felt my heart growing and I fell in love with you right then and there. You will be my baby. These days I'm extremely excited cause I can feel you move and kick inside of me. It's still very soft but I treasure it anyway. You know exactly when I need ... want ... to feel you and you surprise me. I'm looking forward to meeting you, holding you, cuddling with you, seeing who you look like, smelling your soft baby skin, and whispering in your ear how much I love you. I sit here on the couch with tears running down my cheeks because I haven't even met you yet but I would give my life for you. Your brother is making silly faces at mommy right now (probably cause I look like a crazy lady right now) but your gonna love him! He is soooo silly and will make you laugh a TON! Can't wait for you to meet him. I want you to know that as much as mommy loves your brother mommy loves you exactly the same much. I love having you in my belly where I can keep you nice and safe and honestly... all to myself. :) I'm going to enjoy this pregnancy and not rush you to get here. I love you my sweet baby.

To BOTH my babies... thank you... thank you for showing me that there is a much bigger way to love to someone. Thank you for picking me. You both are mommy's pride and joy and I wouldn't have it any other way. Baby Carlos... I wouldn't change my struggles to get you here because it was all worth it. Baby Terrero... I wouldn't changed how fast you got here because you are giving me the greatest gift of all... having the BEST of BOTH worlds!!!!!

Mommy loves you both my babies.... until next time.

Love, Mommy

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