Ramblings

Tonight I walked into the kids room and just sat down on the rocker and watched my babies sleep. I've done this before... actually many times before but tonight... for some reason it was different. I had this overwhelming feeling... tears ran down my face and I felt like I couldn't breath.

The LOVE I have for these two little ones is beyond me... beyond them.

When I look back on my life I could have NEVER in my wildest dreams ever think that I would be THIS IN LOVE with my children. I mean... you always "know" your going to love your kids right? BUT... man I had no idea what I was missing out on.

My son... OMG... where do I even start. I know I haven't done a "Mommy post" in a while but lately... my son has been the most gentle soul. I was telling some friends of mine about him. He comes up to me and will just randomly give me this BIG ole hug. I mean where he is squeezing as tight as his little hands will let him. Or he'll come up to me and push my head down if he cant reach me to give me this big kiss. And.... my favorite... he is now just saying "I love you" just because... which sounds more like "I u" but it's not only the "I u"... its the way he says it. The way he looks at me. The way I can see right through his eyes his pure excitement to say it to me because he knows that I go CRAZY every time he says it to me. Tonight when we were in bed he told me "Mama mine" "(points to himself) Mama".... if my love wasn't big enough for him already... this just made it grow a million times more.

My daughter... Lord... she completes me!!!!! She makes me smile in ways I've never had before. She is getting so big. It makes me so sad sometimes... I try and take "memory" snapshots of her all day long. I'm in awe of my daughter. I have never known such beauty but not only on the outside but in the inside as well. She has such a way with people... all she needs to do is give you her "look" and your pull into her. Lately I think she "knows" how sad I am that she is growing so fast because she has been cuddling with me double time AND she most of the time... ONLY wants Mama (yes I am holding on to every bit of this because I know that in due time she will be back to being Daddy's little girl). She has this things she does... when I carry her... every once in a while she will lay her head either on my chest or on my shoulder and grab my face gently with her hand and just pass it really soft over my entire face like she's trying to make me feel "all better"... in that moment it's only me and her.

Talking about my babies... writing about my babies fills my eye with tears and my heart with joy. I just cant help it.

Tonight... I feel blessed in more ways then one.